This is the home of a lapsed neatnik and her family. This is how it’s traversed…

By dodging boxes in the stairwell, boxes in the closet, boxes pressed to the ceiling in the garage. Stumbling over piles of things deemed worthy for sale.

By mashing your fingers between stacks of drawers that have no dresser to hold them, every time you need a t-shirt. Opening the file cabinet to hunt for the cheese grater.

By trying to ignore the art languishing in the hallways and corners, waiting for a wall to be hung on. And a good dusting.

By wondering how much longer ‘til Sinatra, New Order, Stereolab and his hundreds of other vinyl sidekicks get to come out of hiding.

How we got here is simple: we moved. From a place with nearly 3,600 sq ft to a place with 1,700 square feet.

That’s about  2,000 sq ft of crap to eliminate, which we’ve been doing steadily. for. two. years. There were yard sales. A 20-yard dumpster filled with David’s woodshop scrap. So, so many trips to the dump.

Forcing things on friends… “no, really, TAKE it.” Storing larger items with family. Countless things sold on eBay and Craigslist or bagged up for Sal’s Army.

Until we can add shelving, cabinets and the like to a house with a dearth of storage, we have no convenient place to put what we’d actually like to keep.

A fully functioning kitchen would be nice, but I won’t get ahead of myself. For the moment I’ll stick to the steeplechase my daily path has become.

Virgos are supposed to be perfectionists. Honestly, I was never the white-glove type. I just want a home where I can put my hands on a clean pair of underwear or a thumbtack when I need one.

With that as my goal, I share with you the remodel of a modern house by a modern family.  It’s a modern hot mess. Enter if you dare.

Try not to trip over the headboard in the entryway, ’kay?