you game? Barney Miller

’70s TV show board game day! Sitcom laugh track + the 12th Precinct squad room in Greenwich Village = Barney Miller. Fish? Dietrich? WO-ja-HO-its? Ringin’ a bell, anybody? The show dates to 1975. The game dates to 1977. About a million years ago…

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A bunch of cranky cops busting hookers and pimps and pickpockets. I can’t for the life of me imagine any child, in the ’70s or now, wanting to watch this show or play this game. Ever. More for the adults in the house…

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Maybe you never saw the show but I bet you’ve heard that bassline from the opening theme.

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Object: Be the first detective to catch all four suspects.

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Remember that hilarious episode where Wojo brings in the hash brownies? No? Me neither…

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Hey, remember when network television was all about reality shows? No, really. How about Howard Cosell announcing the Battle of the Network Stars — the ’79 episode in which Gil Gerard (Buck Rogers) beats the pants off of Wojo in the relay. (Heads up: Kristy McNichol sighting.) Or Eight is Enough vs Barney Miller on Family Feud.

Someday you’ll thank me for this.

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